Have you ever felt lost?
Have you ever felt lost? Like you don’t know where your going or where you belong in life?
Ever since I was 12 years old I have never felt like I knew where I actually belonged. Yes I had my family but I never actually felt like I belonged there. It always felt like I was just there for no purpose.
Do Not Follow The Crowd!
From being 13 all I ever did was hang out with people older than me, I used to drink alcohol with them just to fit in & Feel like I belonged somewhere, Eventually it got me in to trouble with my parents & They kicked me out of the family home. (Looking back now I understand to an extent) Yes I shouldn’t have been doing them things at that age. but I wanted a reaction from them like some form of attention. Unfortunately it didn’t work out that way, It never does.
He Changed My Life!
That carried on up until I hit 15 & Then I met my now husband! He was a year younger than me, He was from Newcastle too but he lived down south. Luckily he was up visiting or maybe we would have never met! (Scary thinking about it) I do believe in love at first sight. We were young yes. But from the moment I met him I knew he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
After 5 month of being together he asked me to move down south to live with & Promised to take care of me! I was doing work experience at the time so was getting EMA. (It used to be running back then. But it was where you got paid £30 a week for doing work experience). I hadn’t been paid for a few weeks so I was expecting it to be backdated anytime, I spent my last Christmas in Newcastle & Told my parents I was going down south to visit Edward, On the 27th of December 2009 i had my train tickets in my hand & My parents dropped me to the train station & That is when I waved goodbye to Newcastle & My life there!
From then on I have felt wanted & Knew where I belonged even if I was nearly 400 miles away from my family I’m no longer lost.
Making A Family
We went on to have our first baby but we sadly miscarried, Our rainbow baby was born in 2011 & Our last little boy was born in 2014. We married in 2015 & This July we have been together 8 year. I could never thank him enough for taking me away & Showing me what life should be like & What love really is. He really is my soul mate!
Just remember if you are in a situation like I was & You feel like there is no end.. THERE IS! I went the wrong way about trying to get attention, I know that now as an adult. It made things worse!
This has been something that’s been so heavy on my shoulder’s for over 10 year now & Already it feels like a weight has been lifted so thank you to my lovely followers who make me feel comfortable enough to post things like this. I’m now happier than I have ever been, Thanks to my husband & My children.